Can't move on bcoz of him...?

Well this guy that I got to know 4yrs ago and what happen btwn us... I don know. He just walks away without a reason why. I tried to compromise with him tho but he kept denying that there's nth wrong and somehow we had a misunderstand.We grew apart eventually and our friendship became like strangers and our feeling towards each other grew into hate. Well that's what I thought I felt for him. But I've realIzed that I was actually for him. I hated that he left me wondering without a reason why but I love him for who he is and that sucks. I still see him ard but we can't look at each other anymore. He prolly hates me alot. He gives me this digested whenever he sees me but sometimes If I happen to look diff like a new hair cut or something, he'll just take a quick glance. Haiz... So it's alrdy been 4 yrs since that day and I've not had a relationship. I did tried to move on by dating other guys but nth works. He's still on my mind and there's nth I can do about it even tho I still see him ard and now he is the army which makes me worry and feel so miserable. I've been feel so lonely these days. I feel like I should move on like prolly ask a guy out or something but I can't coz my mind is filled by him and I'm feeling broken coz I can't reach out to him. I feel so miserable and pathetic now.. I love him that much and it sucks that I have to swallow the words. He alrdy seem to dislike me and If I were to try something to be friends with him again, I don think he'll want to get involved. And I miss him. I feel so silly right now. Pls help? :( I usually know how to control my emotions but this time, it's so hard.