Wanting To Know You Thought On This...?

I think that your story is intriguing and that you write well for your age. You've used some terms/words incorrectly, however; for instance, where you write ...my steps become mulled over... to mull over means to think about; also, your use of the word deemed is incorrect; deem means to make a judgment. There are indeed some errors in grammar and punctuation, but proofreading may be the key to eliminating those; one I feel obligated to mention is your use of the verb laid; you may not understand that the past tense of lie is lay, not laid. I hope that you won't think that I am being overly critical, but you asked for a critique of your story's content. In that regard, I would appreciate your being more explanatory of the plot's background. I have no clue as to who Domi, Dmitri, and Alexandra are or why suddenly you (the protagonist) are living in Grand Marias on the shores of Lake Superior, where or what Mizaray was/is. To hold my interest, I would want you to make the situation clearer. If you aspire to write for publication, a literary agent or publishing company will not be persuaded to represent or purchase your mcript because you are only thirteen years old -- they aren't charitable; you must write an original, compelling novel if you hope to see it published, regardless your age! To reiterate, though, you do have definite potential as a writer. What you've written thus far is a rough draft; much altering and rewriting will be required in order to produce a professional mcript, but you surely have the time to do so! Good luck! (I've written two novels so am aware of tedious task that making corrections can be -- a "necessary evil", nonetheless!)